


free to go (and run and hide)

by ralf



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s04e01 Code of Honor, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Post-Season/Series 03, Pre-Season/Series 04, Sad Keith (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 19:03:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16143521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ralf/pseuds/ralf
Summary: Keith has lost count of the number of times he's come to the hanger, begging Black to take Shiro back.





	free to go (and run and hide)

Keith has lost count of the number of times he's come to the hanger, begging Black to take Shiro back. He can't do this anymore.

Shiro says he's made his peace with their new positions but it's obvious to Keith that this is a lie. Shiro is struggling to accept his newfound uselessness. Instead of being the head of Voltron he has to stay back on the castle ship and while his coordinating efforts are of help they are but a shadow of what he used to contribute. And it's not only him but Voltron as well. Keith isn't made to be a leader and he feels his inadequacy in every decision he makes.

It's so much easier with the Blades. He's never been good exactly at following orders but he is damn good at getting the job done. In a way he is a better soldier than he could ever be a leader.

He wonders why Shiro can't see that, or maybe it's more that he doesn't want to because they are out of options since Black refused him. Except they aren't. There's a perfectly viable option right in front of their eyes, an improvement for everyone involved. Keith honestly can't understand why they don't seize it. Every time he tries to bring it up Shiro blocks.

They have been fighting more times than not and it's wearing Keith down. Shiro has always been a source of support, gently nudging him in the right direction with words of encouragement and a kind smile. The times have changed, it seems, because now Shiro is harsh and demanding, leaving no room for argument or failure, unrelentingly pushing him ahead, into piloting Black.

He can't.

He can't sit in that chair and steal Shiro's place away from him. Those shoes are too big for him to fill. He's not a leader and he won't ever be.

Every time he's forced to play at being the Black Paladin makes him sick, but hiding away with the Blades is even worse. Shiro claims to approve of his training but every time he returns there's a frown on his brow and a reprimand on his lips and, worst of all, disappointment in his eyes.

Keith understands why Shiro and the others need him to pilot Black but that doesn't change the fact that he can't, not the way Shiro could and not the way Voltron needs. He's adrift, and even among the people he's become to consider family he's never felt more alone.

He misses Shiro terribly even though he's right there, and he feels horrible about that. He feels horrible about everything.

He hates how he's started to crave being away from the castle ship and the responsibility it imposes on him and he hates how he's started to tense every time Shiro enters a room with that distant, stern expression and he _hates_ that he can't be what Shiro wants him to be.

In a weak, shameful moment he finds himself thinking that things were easier when Shiro was still missing. He's horrified at himself, and it's in that moment that he knows he needs to leave Voltron for good.

 


End file.
